Funny Mother Day Quotes And Sayings

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Funny Mother Day Quotes

Mother is the most loving and caring creature on this planet. Our mothers have done a lot of things for us in their whole life. They have to sacrifice many things for the good of heir children.

Fun and humor is the major part in strengthening the bond of every relationship. When you make other person smile they feel affection with you, so why not try to make your mother laugh. Now at mother day when you are planning a lot of things for her like surprising her in the morning with flowers, buying her dress you should also add some these funny quotes that will make her laugh and bring you two more together.

We have gathered some funny and hilarious quotes that will make your mum laughing out loud.

Short Funny Quotes

  • .   “Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.”   
  • “My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
  • “The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.
  • “Nobody loves me but my mother, And she could be jivin’ too.”
  • “My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.”
  • “My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”
  • “Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare.”
  • “I know how to do anything I’m a mom.”
  • “Children are a great comfort in your old age – and they help you reach it faster, too     
  • “Neurotics build castles in the air; psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them
  • “Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.”
  • “The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.”
  • “Neurotics build castles in the air; psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.”
  • “I’m a mother with two small children, so I don’t take as much crap as I used to.”
  • “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children!.” 
  • “If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?” 
  • “It is never easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” 
  • “I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.” 
  • “My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate.” 
  • “The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents.” 
  • “My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” 
  • “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.” 

Funny quotes

  • “My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That’s how she learned how to swim. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’
  • “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
  • “You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
  • “My mom’s favorite Stevie Wonder song is, “I Just Called to Say Someone You Don’t Know Has Cancer.”
  • “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children.”
  • “My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.”     
  • “Mymother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.”
  • “I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.”     
  • “Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence,” goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.”    
  • “I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.”
  • “I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, Steven, time to go to sleep. I said, ‘But I don’t know how. She said, ‘It’s real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left.”So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said i thought I told you to go to sleep.”
  • “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”
  • “As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.’     
  • “I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!”
  • “The way I feel, if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, I’ve done my job.”
  • “I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.”    
  • “So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well.”     
  • “Ilove to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can’t find me until after high school.”
  • “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
  • “It’s not over until the fat lady sings, but even after she sings, packs up and goes home, my mom will still be saying goodbye to me on the phone.”
  • “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t” matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”
  • “If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose” to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.”     
  • “When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.”

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